Why the Caveman Era Was the Golden Age of Doing the Bare Minimum

Back when life was all about not dying before sunset, greatness had really low standards. Like trip-over-it kind of low. You didn’t need to “build your personal brand” or post sunrise gym selfies. You just had to not get eaten. And if you could do one thing slightly better than the others, congratulations — you were the cave’s Elon Musk. Minus the Wi-Fi. And the weird tweets.

Rock Throwing Champion 10,000 BC

There was probably one guy in the tribe who could throw a rock a little farther than the others. That’s it. No technique, no analytics, no post-match performance review, just pure shoulder anger. They probably named him Fast Oog and gave him extra berries. Today, that same guy would be asked to "pivot to product management" after his second performance review.

Music Was Just Grunting with Commitment

No Spotify, no autotune, no genre wars. If you could grunt in rhythm and didn’t sound like you were choking on a pinecone, you were a rockstar. Someone probably banged a stick on a log behind you, and boom, you invented EDM.

Art? Literally Just Hands

Caveman art was a masterclass in minimalism. Want to be the Picasso of your era? Dip your hand in mud or your own faeces, slap it on a wall, and walk away like you just dropped an NFT. That was it. No concept. No symbolism. Just: “Look. appreciate my fucking piece of art.”

Upright Walking? Revolutionary.

One guy stood up, and suddenly he was a thought leader. Probably gave TED Talks titled “Reaching the Fruit Without Dying: A Vertical Approach.” The rest of the tribe sat around grunting approval. That’s it. That was innovation.

Love in the Time of Tetanus

Romance was simpler too. No dating apps, no emotionally unavailable situationships. Just spot someone who doesn’t look entirely diseased and say, “You… boom boom, mate?” The end. If you both survived winter, that was your anniversary.

Invent Anything = God Status

Invent the wheel? Boom. Genius. Even if you didn’t know what to do with it, or it rolled down a hill and crushed your cousin — still a visionary. Nobody questioned it. Nobody asked for a beta version. You were just the guy who made round things happen.

And Then Humans Got Ambitious

Fast forward to today, and being “great” requires emotional intelligence, financial literacy, core strength, a skincare routine, and the patience to not scream during Zoom calls. Meanwhile, Caveman Oog got famous for inventing pointy stick.

Honestly, the benchmark back then was so low, I could’ve been a legend. And so could you. We both missed our true era by just a few ice ages.